For all the dudes with that Princess Leia fantasy

British actress Kate Beckinsale is the new face of Absolut Vodka, and while I can't claim to find the ads particularly compelling from a marketing standpoint, they are kinda funny from a 'I think they're ridiculous' standpoint. I suppose that Absolut is trying to establish itself as a drink for classy ladies*, but based on the fashion choices exhibited in the shot above, I think the vodka company is more likely to attract a target audience of  internet addicted Star Wars geeks.

If your interest is at all piqued, read more here.

*see this other print ad from the campaign

Come to think of it, eBay

There's a reason we haven't seen a commercial for eBay in a while. 18 months ago, the online auction giant shifted the vast majority of its marketing efforts to a coupon budget, and in the process cut its advertising budget in half. One can only assume that in today's economic struggle, this strategy hasn't been working for them because this holiday season a new ad campaign has been gracing the airwaves:




eBay is smartly tapping into the consumer psyche this holiday season. The catchy tag line makes the message from the (for lack of a better word) "retailer" clear. After the drama highlighted by the Louis Vuitton and Hermes conterfreiting lawsuits last year, they want to remind you shoppers not to forget that ebay is a viable Christmas shopping option. And with the economy making clear but slow steps toward recovery, my guess is that Americans are more inclined than they were this time last year to consider pricier gift options like designer duds and sporting good so convieniently available on eBay.

Apparently the reaction to the ads has been somewhat mixed, but honestly I don't get why. I think that both Jim Gaffigan and Kevin Hart are completely hillarious (yet appropriate) in their roles. Let me know if you feel the same or differently.

If you want to check out the rest of the spots, take a look at eBay's official YouTube page. Enjoy.

The Fun Theory

Volkswagen Sweden has spearheaded a public initiative* aptly titled "The Fun Theory"-- the premise being that positive behavioral change can be implemented by having fun. To test the theory, VW put three experiments in place, and in each case found that fun does, in fact, have the capacity to change behavior for the better:

Experiment #1: The Bottle Bank Arcade

Experiment #2: The Piano Staircase

Experiment #3: The World's Deepest Trash Can

As cool as the experiments are in and of themselves, the best part about VW's campaign is that it's success as a viral video has prompted the company to host a Fun Theory competition. If you can identify a problem and then find a fun way to fix it-- ta-da, you could be up $5,000. That, my friends, is marketing genius. You can bet that there will be some awesome concepts that'll come out of this and who's going to get the credit for prompting it? Kudos to you, Volkswagen.

So yeah I think it's a great idea and if anyone can think of a way to make picking up dog shit fun, let me know. I'll split the five grand.

Check out the official fun theory website here, the competition guidelines here, and the jury bios here.

* viral marketing campaign.

Sky Mall: Love it and Hate it

A few days ago, American Airlines almost kept me from reading Sky Mall.

To many, this may not seem like a big deal. For me, however, this is a phenomenon repeated only when copious amounts of alcohol or severe lack of sleep physically prevent me from reaching into my seat-back pocket to browse the latest edition of the gadget-filled magazine. Sky Mall easily wins the award for simultaneously being the most insanely awesome and most absurdly ridiculous magazine. Girls and Corpses Magazine comes in a close second. So, almost every time I find myself on a plane, I open up Sky Mall and browse through the volumes of expensive items that nobody actually needs. This time, however, American Airlines provided me with an interesting alternative. No, it wasn't American Way Magazine, which isn't bad, nor was it the in-flight NBC programming, which is great for the most part. American Airlines now offers internet on all Boeing 767-200s, select MD-80s, and will soon be added to their Boeing 737 fleet. Since this feature's limited launch over a year ago, AA has siginificantly enhanced their coverage, but has also maintained a fee of around $10 per flight for the service. Reading Sky Mall is still free -- I went with the old faithful and found a few gems definitely worth sharing:

1. Telekinetic Obstacle Course

This first item is a stretch even for Sky Mall, and that's really saying something. The product is actually called Mindflex and is distributed by Mattel for cheaper than Sky Mall's price of $99.95. The game comes with a headband and two earlobe clips that measure the focus of your brain waves to increase or decrease the speed of a fan, which determines the height of the ball. You move the ball through an obstacle course by either focusing harder, to speed the fan up and raise the ball, or focusing less hard, to slow the fan down and lower the ball. Definitely a cool idea, but this product raises a lot of questions. Mainly, isn't this a pretty big deal? You can power something on and off with your brain and the first application we're hearing about is in a toy? At any rate, someone apparently must have managed to economize the production of EEG brain wave monitoring technology. For anyone who thinks this seems an awful lot like some sort of Jedi mind training exercise, don't worry, they've got that covered too. All these brain toys are weirding me out, I'll just stick with my simple computerized Marshmallow Bazooka.

2. Electronic Feng Shui Compass

Wow, I don't even know where to start with this one. I guess the "Fortune Compass" has been on the Sky Mall circuit for a while actually, but why? Maybe because for the "New Low Price" of $199.99, yuppies with only superficial knowledge of the ancient Chinese system of aesthetics can now easily pretend that they've embraced positive qi all along. And they can do it in a way they understand, by pointing something at something else, pressing a button and reading a screen. This high-tech portable compass uses "advanced aerospace guidance technology" to maximize "supportive energy fields" and "align your physical surroundings to help manifest your goals and intentions." Old feng shui compasses, called Luopan's, looked like this. As an indicator for spiritual and energetic conditions, yeah, that seems about right. The Fortune Compass, on the other hand, is just capitalist electronic bastardization of an ancient pseudoscience neatly boxed in something that looks like a blood tester for diabetics. The screen that displays the word "success" when pointed toward a completely rearranged living room should be replaced with a mirror and the word "failure." For more idiocy, try Aculife Therapist Deluxe.

3. Solafeet Foot Tanner

This product is quite simply absurd. If there was ever a time that I'd actually recommend a spray-on tan, it would be on a small, inconsequential, often ignored or overlooked part of your body, like your feet. Don't get me wrong, I love feet (not in that weird kissy way) and I also love putting myself in positions where they won't get tan while the rest of my body does, but spending $229.99 for a foot bed that zaps your feet full of UV rays seems unnecessary. And if you were thinking that this product was generally acceptable because foot cancer isn't an issue, you're just plain wrong. Foot melanoma is the deadliest cancer.

Other notables include:

• The Slanket: Why get a Snuggie when you can pay more for the dumber-sounding Slanket?
• 3D Web Camera: You'll be watching porn in three dimensions before you know it.
• Migraine Magic Plus: Tested on Guantanamo detainees!
• Pure Fun MagicShowerhead: Make showering on ecstasy even more fun!
• Big Pitcher Water Treatment System: Why drink H2O when you can have H4O?
• "Lost Balls" golf book: Nice title, that's all.
• Underwater Cellular Phone System: Drowning your day-to-day worries is now impossible.

In case you were wondering...

In New Orleans this Friday, Dillard's is hosting a promotional event in which those customers who purchase a new pair of UGGs will be presented with the opportunity to personalize their new boots with a bedazzled design of their choice.

Ok, first of all, if the notion of putting rhinestones on an UGG doesn't make you want to vomit, I'm going to go ahead and ask you to sit down and reevaluate all of your life choices. Don't get me wrong. I think UGGs are warm and comfortable and even cute if you're rocking a "Yeah, I just rolled out of bed in this casually oversized flannel and black leggings" kind of look, however, unless you're a young lady between the ages of 9 and 12, their rustic charm should never be undermined by a rhinestone unicorn.

Secondly (and most importantly), the ad claims that those applying said designs will be professionals. My question is this-- How does one go about becoming a professional bedazzler? As soon as I find out, you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be out there getting my degree. Seriously, I can't think of a higher calling in life.

Really, Montblanc.... really?

Today, in commemoration of 140th anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi's birth, Montblanc-- the German purveyor of luxury writing implements-- has released a limited edition fountain pen with a price tag of, get this, $24,763.00

Before I declare this to be one of the most moronically misguided luxury product launches ever, let's take a moment to review my personal stance on prestige items-- and here it is: I love luxury goods. I spent months of my life locked in the dungeon that is the Johns Hopkins library studying them. I love the companies that furnish them, I love the manner in which they are sold, I love the unique desire that they provoke in otherwise reasonable customers. In a word, I find the whole concept of the luxury industry completely and utterly fascinating.

Montblanc is no exception to this interest. Having briefly studied its business model and corporate strategy from an academic standpoint, I can safely say that--the present Gandhi travesty aside-- I think Montblanc is a pretty great/neat/swell company. I would go so far as to call it the bee's knees. The cat's pajamas. Whatever.

This said, let's take a moment to evaluate the situation. Correct me if I'm wrong (after all, I'm no historian) but Gandhi is known as one of history's greatest political and ideological leaders. His central philosophy is largely based on such concepts as asceticism and general simplicity, right? Now, with this in mind, how in god's name does Montblanc justify trying to sell a $25,000 pen in his honor?

Says Oliver Goessler*, regional director for Montblanc in India, Africa and the Middle East, "It's not an opulent pen. It's a writing instrument that's very pure."

Um, I beg your pardon?

In case you were wondering, here's a rundown of the allegedly non-opulent pen. Each of the 241 individually handmade units features an 18-carat solid gold, rhodium-plated nib engraved with Gandhi’s image, and a saffron-colored opal on the clip. Each will be sold with a 26' long gold thread that can be wound around the pen to 'invoke the spindle Gandhi used to weave plain cotton cloth each day**,' and, of course, will include a booklet of inspiring Gandhi quotations.

And believe it or not, the whole thing gets even more ridiculous. Because, as Goessler puts it, "when we talk about Gandhi, there has to be an edition that's more accessible," Montblanc has graciously put out a more affordable version of the absurd Ghandi pen. How much will that puppy run you? Oh, a mere $3,500. A trifle, really.

In all fairness, Montblanc has tied the pen to two significant charity initiatives, one of which is headed by Gandhi's great-grandson. In my opinion, though, if the company had wanted to make an actual, right now difference, it would have bought a truck load of BICs and distributed them in elementary schools across India.

But that's just me.

* I got all of this idiot's*** quotations from this article.

** I've never heard such ridiculous garbage. The notion of rough handmade cotton cloth is supposed to be invoked via a filament of solid gold on a $25,000 pen. Jesus.

*** Ok, so I probably shouldn't trash talk this dude since I might want a job from him some day but, come on-- if he just became less of an idiot he'd save us both the trouble.

Creativity is worth 500%

Welcome!

To me, that is. I am so happy to throw some things into this blog.

I found this video below and thought it was a great test of creativity. Sometimes we cloud ads with all of these flashing lights and big, expensive booms. Well, what happens when you remove all that? Does creativity at its essence still work?

You got drunk at Starbucks?

Not something I've ever expected to hear. But for those of you who don't know, Starbucks is trying something a little bit different. 

It's an interesting concept and a bold move in terms of brand management. I'm not convinced that it'll work but I think that the Starbucks initiative is much closer to being within the capacity of their brand than, say, the garbage going on at Hyundai.  Either way, it'll be interesting to see how all of this plays out

James Dean on Warner Brother Presents

So I was scanning AdFreak, when I came across a list of ironic ads in history. Turns out that after the release of Rebel Without a Cause, Warner Brothers became concerned that James Dean's character glorified reckless driving and that the movie's popularity might result in the subsequent deaths of teenagers emulating him. The studio prophylactically filmed an episode of Warner Brother's presents that features Dean dreamily asking the kids to stay safe on the road. The clip was never released as shortly thereafter, Dean died in a car accident.

Why the people at Hyundai are idiots

In February of this year, Hyundai motor company unveiled the Equus, a $60,000 full-size luxury sedan designed as a competitor to such flagship models as BMW's 7-series, Mercedes-Benz's S-Class, Audi's A8, and the Lexus LS. The Equus became available in South Korea on March 11, but it remained unclear whether or not the car would ever be marketed in America. Recent speculation suggests that it will—reports have been circulating that the 2011 Equus model will hit the US in July of next year.

Obviously, Hyundai wants to enter the luxury market. And honestly, that's all fine and dandy with me--they'd hardly be the first Asian automaker to do so. In fact, the big Japanese companies have done this extremely well. Toyota, Nissan, and, to a lesser extent, Honda, all managed to sneak into the luxury club by promising premium vehicles equal in quality and lower in price than their German counterparts. They've delivered on that promise, consistently giving its consumers a meticulously engineered product that's technically on par with--and often more reliable than the likes of Mercedes, Audi, and BMW.

Hyundai has largely stuck to the formula. Last year, it made its first foray into the luxury sector when it introduced Genesis, so named because it's supposedly the first of many Hyundai luxury cars. It's priced at a manageable base of $33k for the V6 model and $38k for the V8--about $10,000 less than comparable cars. They've held up on the quality front too. The car's features and performance testify that Hyundai is more than capable of producing a top-of-the-line ride. The Genesis has received critical acclaim and was named Consumer Report's top luxury car, Cars.com's new car of the year, and crowned 2009 North American Car of the Year.

To this I say: Good for you, Hyundai. So you can build a sweet ride. Great. I still think your company's luxury move monumentally idiotic. Why? It's not because I doubt the quality of their product. Quite the opposite-- I think that I'd recommend a Genesis over a Mercedes E class, any day. It's because in trying for luxury success, Hyundai has forgotten who they are.

What comes to mind when you think about Hyundai? Despite evidence to the contrary, I still think 'crappy economy cars for people on a budget'. There are countless examples of such stigmas attached to particular automakers, and what's more, these stigmas are hard to shake. Think about Buick. Most people immediately think 'old peoples' car', right? Well, in an effort to change that, Buick hired Tiger Woods as the brand's young and freshfaced spokesperson:

After a nine year endorsement, and millions upon millions of advertising dollars, we're all still thinking that there's no way that Tiger Woods ever drove a Buick-- that car is for old people. 

The Japanese companies understood this quite well when they entered the market, and realized that people driving BMW and Mercedes autos were not going to want to drive a Toyota, Nissan, or Honda, no matter the vehicle's caliber. So what did they do? They launched new brands--Toyota has Lexus, Nissan has Infiniti, and Honda has Acura. Hyundai has.... Hyundai?

Sure enough, Genesis sales in America have been modest--not bad, but modest. Hyundai moved 6,167 in the first five months of sale, and since then has sold about 2,000 more. So what does Hyundai do? Why, it puts out another, bigger luxury car, of course. Never mind that in the present economy, most other automakers are clamoring to downsize their product lineup. Aston-Martin, for example, recently proposed Cygnet, a $33k SMARTcar sized concept which is likely to enter production. Genesis is already equivalent in size to a Lexus LS. Now consider that Equus will be even larger- sized at what can only be described as positively monstrous. Hyundai, just as easily, could have spent money on developing a new brand, or focused their attentions on the sales of the smaller, sportier Genesis Coupe.

Between 2004-2006 in America, Volkswagen marketed the Phaeton, a full size sedan which, like Equus, was designed to compete with the 7 Series, S-Class, A8 and the like. The Phaeton was critically acclaimed, beautifully engineered, quality-controlled, and a complete failure. Why? Because people looking to spend $75,000 on a car didn't want to drive a Volkswagen. Mazda's Amati brand didn't even make it into production. Even Infiniti, a well-established luxury brand, discontinued production of it's flagship sedan, the Q45, because it couldn't hack it in the American market.

That said, Hyundai needs to wake up and realize that, sad as it is, America is not a society in which quality or even reputation can trump brand image. If the behemoth hits the showrooms next July and they still think that luxury consumers are going to spend $60,000 on a Hyundai, they've got another thing coming.