In case you were wondering...

In New Orleans this Friday, Dillard's is hosting a promotional event in which those customers who purchase a new pair of UGGs will be presented with the opportunity to personalize their new boots with a bedazzled design of their choice.

Ok, first of all, if the notion of putting rhinestones on an UGG doesn't make you want to vomit, I'm going to go ahead and ask you to sit down and reevaluate all of your life choices. Don't get me wrong. I think UGGs are warm and comfortable and even cute if you're rocking a "Yeah, I just rolled out of bed in this casually oversized flannel and black leggings" kind of look, however, unless you're a young lady between the ages of 9 and 12, their rustic charm should never be undermined by a rhinestone unicorn.

Secondly (and most importantly), the ad claims that those applying said designs will be professionals. My question is this-- How does one go about becoming a professional bedazzler? As soon as I find out, you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be out there getting my degree. Seriously, I can't think of a higher calling in life.

Young Eager and UNPAID

Some food for thought. If you don't follow TIME magazine on Twitter this was something they posted today. Kinda makes me feel stressed. I only have one internship under my belt. Am I doomed? I know plenty of people who still don't know what they want to do with their lives who are decades older than me. Are we going to have to intern forever? How do they expect recent grads who have to pay for loans, health insurance, etc. to work for FREE? Ugh. LIFE.

Some things I don't understand

There has got to be a better way to dispense shampoo*. Think about it, has anyone in the history of hair washing ever successfully used all of the shampoo in the container? I feel like every time that I'm just at the end of a bottle, there's at least two lurking tablespoons of Paul Mitchell coating the inside walls or stuck in the shoulder-- never to be used. Destined for waste. 

Though my concern is one both legitimate and troubling, the governing shampoo body will never take it into consideration. Why? Because due to the inherent wastefulness of present shampoo packaging, I have to go buy a new bottle two tablespoons sooner than I would with a more efficient dispenser. So they're making bank and I'm left in an emotionally exhausting battle of wills against a plastic bottle, hoping against hope that I might salvage a few extra teaspoons of Tea Tree Scalp Treatment. 

Garbage.

*This also applies to lotion. And ketchup. 

Shoulder Pads

Having watched a number of 80's movies over the past week, I've had some exposure the fashion of the age and, frankly, it got me to wondering-- what was America thinking when it allowed the shoulder pad to come into style?

 I mean, come on. The above shouldn't be ok under any circumstance. Ever. I don't care how stylistically disinclined the populace is, it's just wrong. Anyway, as ever when such questions occur to me, I did a little research. Here's what I found out about shoulder pads as a ladies' fashion. 

Turns out that fashion legend, Elsa Schiaparelli (the famous rival of her contemporary Coco Chanel), first introduced them in her designs in her 1931 line, drawing inspiration from the leg of mutton sleeves that dominated women's wear in the 1890's. Despite this, shoulder pad didn't become widely fashionable until the 1940's when, with WWII a looming presence, women's styles drew influence from military uniforms. I guess I follow this rationale. If you shape and place a shoulder pad correctly, it'll effectively create a boxy, tin soldier kind of look. 

By the 1980's though, you can hardly justify using WWII as inspiration for your fashion designs. You can't really use Vietnam, either. And you could try to bring the Cold war into it, but I'm not sure militarizing fashion would be the best way to convey anti-Communist sentiment. Why then were shoulder pads so big in the 80's?

Two reasons:

1. Fashion is cyclical: Consider some of today's styles like the skinny jean or the high waisted skirt. Though both looks have been modernized to fit today's standards, they were prevalent 20-30 years ago. All this to say therefore, that though they weren't directly inspired by a war, fashion designers in the 1980's were drawing from the heavy, square look favored in the 1940's. 
2. Sociological factors play heavily into style: I would argue that American women in the 1940's were drawn to military-inspired ensembles in part because it allowed them to feel connected to the war efforts overseas. By donning an article of clothing that was reminiscent of a military uniform, women were showing support for U.S. soldiers, consciously or not. Fast forward to the 1980's, the advent of the corporate business woman. Broad shoulder angles effectively masculinize the lines of a woman's suit, and so shoulder pads in a blazer became a way for women to command respect in the corporate world. Today, we term this fashion ideology "power dressing". 

As to why shoulder pads became popular outside of the meeting rooms, I really can't say. Like belly shirts and pleated pants, some fashion faux-pas can't be explained. Tragically, the Spring 2009 fashion shows suggest that shoulder pads might be making a comeback. I'm really unsure about it. I'm just afraid that a shoulder pad comeback  could justify a the resurrection of one of the other atrocities I mentioned above. I'm pretty sure though, that if belly shirts ever come back, I will have completely lost faith in the human race.