Advice For My Favorite Evil Dictator

Dear Ahmadinejad,

So, I realize you're trying to portray yourself as a true Representative of the Irani people. May I offer some advice?

Maybe you should stop tear gassing and beating those who are mourning the deaths of Moussavi supporters. your juuuust giving away your true identity as a raging evil dictator....soo, since you're not fooling anyone anymore please stand down. everyone hates you

Love,

Weenie

Weirdly Plausible

I was presented with an interesting theory today: Michael Jackson was offed by Iran.

The decidedly fishy results of their presidential election, combined with Neda Soltani's tragic death, put Iran in somewhat of a sticky PR situation. So the Ayatollah Khomeini calls up Ahmadinejad and says,

"Listen, dude... we have like, a lot of political unrest to sort out and we'd like to do it in a timely fashion. So we're going to need you to go ahead and create some sort of diversion over there so that no one notices as we get rid of anyone causing trouble over here."

"Ok...but how do we distract the entire world?"

"Beats me. Kill Michael Jackson or something."

Maybe they thew Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, and Ed McMahon in the mix for dramatic effect?