Facebook Parenting

I must be getting older. Everywhere I look, I see parents who seem closer to my age than my parents', or my parents' age when they had me, for that matter. It weirds me out. It doesn't really surprise me though-- kids in my middle school were getting pregnant at 14 -- but I can't stop wondering how parenting in this era of constant social networking is going to effect the child rearing process.

Facebook has really changed it all. Maybe it's actually the source of my weirding out. Status updates and pictures have made the reality of young, early 20-somethings with babies very hard to deny, avoid, or ignore. Everytime I log in, the evidence of the youthful procreation of my peers is pushed in my face. Not that it's really that bad yet. The pictures are often cute, and the status updates aren't as cheesy or annoying as they apparently can be.

STFU, Parents has provided concrete evidence, however, that parenting in the Facebook generation can really be much more annoying than I'll hopefully ever have to know. I've personally yet to see updates about someone's kid's genitalia, the consistency of some tike's feces, or pictures of someone's youngster dropping a douce while playing the recorder, and for this, I'm thankful. There is, however, certainly still time for these developments to take place. I have a feeling that as my Facebook friends' obsessions shift increasingly away from themselves and toward their offspring, I'll start seeing more "too much information" updates or pictures. This is in itself a little bit weird for me, as I've always forseen a time when I would "outgrow" Facebook and get rid of my page, not simply adapt to the ever changing reality of my real life by sharing it with my digital friend circle. Oh well, to each their own.

An alternative way of thinking here might actually just encourage the parents to get their kids a Facebook page before they are born -- hell, get them a gmail account too, because we all know the good names are going fast. Not only could this serve the preliminary purpose of updating the world on any pregnancy developments, but after the baby is born, you could use the page to write cute things on mommy and daddy's walls, as if you were the baby! Wow, how clever. As the kid grows up, the parents can encourage their toddler to make "real friends" by Facebooking their playground acquaintances. This will ensure a seemless transition into the world of awkwardly friending random parents, posting incriminating pictures from an applejuice rager after nap time, and having a discussion with little Kimmy on whether they're ready to make their "holding hands" relationship "Facebook official." The future is looking bright for the next generation.