Closing up shop in 2009 with the top 25

So DJ Earworm deliciously mashed up the top 25 singles of 2009. I thought it was a good way to reflect on how the past year has gone and consequently start to thinking about those New Year's resolutions. On that note... still to come-- my new year's resolutions entry. Enjoy the end of the decade folks, let's chat soon.

I. Can't. Wait.

It's more than likely that you don't understand the depths to which I am obsessed with last year's IronMan, so let me enlighten you. I went through a six month phase where I watched it 3-5 every week. My roommate and I have gotten into a number legitimate arguments in which she tried to tell me that Bruce Wayne would be Tony Stark in a fight. Obviously, she's wrong and if Tony Stark were non- fictional, he would run everyone's show. At all times.

That said, imagine my excitement upon discovering that the first teaser for Iron Man 2 has been released. Can't imagine it? Ok, I'll tell you. I made a sound that combined screeching tires in a parking complex, a pig, and the Jersey Shore's Snooki's reaction to getting punched in the face.
























Alas, we must wait until May 2010 to see the flick. Until then, I suppose I'll satisfy my cravings with Robert Downey Jr.'s upcoming Sherlock Holmes. I'm pretty stoked for that too.

Working Stiff

So, I’m sitting here at my desk, wrapping up my first week of work. To be honest, it’s been a long week, but a good week, nonetheless. Since starting, I’ve been filled with a sense of self-importance and self-worth that I’m sure will fade as my unpaid internship drives on. After a few months of boredom and inaction, in the past week I’ve noticed and learned a lot of things about being active and "employed" -- at least in some sense of the word. Here's a list of the most important:

• At 8am, the temperature outside is much colder than the one in your bed, under the covers.

• The newspaper is incredibly boring if you've already read the news the day before.

• Even if my iPod has no batteries left, I pop in my headphones to seem preoccupied like everybody else I encounter on my commute. When my iPod is working, however, I sometimes get lost in my own world and forget that just because I can’t hear anyone doesn’t mean that they can’t hear and see me. No, you’re not cute, but yeah, I guess I was kinda staring.

• In the sport of staying awake at the office, coffee should be considered a performance-enhancing drug. I prefer more natural methods, like drinking large amounts of water. Having to pee really badly makes falling asleep much more difficult, but also makes the consequences of doing so much more catastrophic.

• Though reading about politics all day can make me feel knowledgeable and well connected, it can get depressing. Reading Sarah Palin quotes, news about the “Tea Party” movement, and reporting on gloomy public opinion polls makes me to hope that I don’t live to see a 2012 Palin-Cheney ticket.

• FOX News really is not the answer to “liberal media bias,” which I will admit exists. Misinformation and untruths are not appropriate alternatives to slanted analysis of accurate news.

• As far as I can tell, very few people work in this 12-story office building. It’s possible that this misperception is furthered by the fact that the building’s excessive six elevators create an environment where you rarely have to share an awkward ride to your floor. It’s nice, but I can’t imagine its very energy efficient. Furthermore, I always forget which side of the building my elevator is on, meaning that I often feel like a jackass when I get out and walk toward a dead end or the wrong office. Luckily nobody sees.

• The human barrenness of the place is apparent in the bathrooms too, which are immaculately clean, almost always unoccupied and smell like a perfume that girls used to wear in middle school. Sometimes I sneak away and play a game of Word Mole by the sink when I get really bored. Nobody will ever know.

• When I get hungry and my stomach starts to growl, does the girl next to me think I’m just letting it rip? If so, she handles it pretty well.

• If I take a few wrong turns trying to leave my building, I somehow end up in the kitchen of the Exchange Sports Bar. Seriously.

• Though there is very little actual difference between the approximately 196 sandwich shops within a block of my building, I plan on trying all of them…just to make sure.

• If I work for the company that is posting “not safe for work” pictures, are they still not safe for work? It would be like getting a job with Playboy and only being allowed to view the editorial content at work.

• Just when I start to wonder if I’m ever going to get any sort of compensation for my work, my boss walks up with a case of ice-cold beer at 5pm on a Friday. This wasn’t any old beer. This…was PBR. I’ll take my payment in frat-soda any day. It’s also nice to know that drinking on the job is not only accepted, but also encouraged. Whiskey in my coffee on Monday morning?

Robin Williams is just funnier than everyone

I just had the chance to watch Robin Williams's brand new comedy special, Robin Williams: Weapons of Self Destruction, that aired for the first time last night on HBO and all I have to say is
oh
my
god.
I haven't laughed so hard since his last HBO special, 2002's brilliant Live on Broadway. Honestly, the man is funnier than, well, everyone. He's disgustingly talented. Disgustingly.

That being said, why doesn't he just do stand up all the time? It's not like he needs the paycheck he gets from garbage like this. Or this. Or this. Jesus.

To finish up, if you have HBO, I'm pretty sure you can get Weapons of Self Destruction On Demand, and here's my favorite clip from Live on Broadway. If you haven't seen it, don't talk to me until you do. You're welcome.

For all the dudes with that Princess Leia fantasy

British actress Kate Beckinsale is the new face of Absolut Vodka, and while I can't claim to find the ads particularly compelling from a marketing standpoint, they are kinda funny from a 'I think they're ridiculous' standpoint. I suppose that Absolut is trying to establish itself as a drink for classy ladies*, but based on the fashion choices exhibited in the shot above, I think the vodka company is more likely to attract a target audience of  internet addicted Star Wars geeks.

If your interest is at all piqued, read more here.

*see this other print ad from the campaign

On that note

In light of Nick's enlightened article on parenting in the digital age, I thought I'd share this skit from Taylor Swift's relatively recent appearance on NBC's Saturday Night Live. I found it timely and appropriate and weirdly accurate.

And, while we're on the subject-- if you haven't been watching, next time you need to waste a hot minute, check out this season's SNL. Critics haven't been stoked on the season but I'm going to politely refute their assertions and tell you all that the sketch comedy show is at its funniest since the golden days of Tina Fey and Will Ferrell circa 1998. Beyond Swift's adorable performance, don't miss the episode hosted by steamy Gerard Butler. This particular skit may or may not have caused me to pee in my pants. Yeah.

Facebook Parenting

I must be getting older. Everywhere I look, I see parents who seem closer to my age than my parents', or my parents' age when they had me, for that matter. It weirds me out. It doesn't really surprise me though-- kids in my middle school were getting pregnant at 14 -- but I can't stop wondering how parenting in this era of constant social networking is going to effect the child rearing process.

Facebook has really changed it all. Maybe it's actually the source of my weirding out. Status updates and pictures have made the reality of young, early 20-somethings with babies very hard to deny, avoid, or ignore. Everytime I log in, the evidence of the youthful procreation of my peers is pushed in my face. Not that it's really that bad yet. The pictures are often cute, and the status updates aren't as cheesy or annoying as they apparently can be.

STFU, Parents has provided concrete evidence, however, that parenting in the Facebook generation can really be much more annoying than I'll hopefully ever have to know. I've personally yet to see updates about someone's kid's genitalia, the consistency of some tike's feces, or pictures of someone's youngster dropping a douce while playing the recorder, and for this, I'm thankful. There is, however, certainly still time for these developments to take place. I have a feeling that as my Facebook friends' obsessions shift increasingly away from themselves and toward their offspring, I'll start seeing more "too much information" updates or pictures. This is in itself a little bit weird for me, as I've always forseen a time when I would "outgrow" Facebook and get rid of my page, not simply adapt to the ever changing reality of my real life by sharing it with my digital friend circle. Oh well, to each their own.

An alternative way of thinking here might actually just encourage the parents to get their kids a Facebook page before they are born -- hell, get them a gmail account too, because we all know the good names are going fast. Not only could this serve the preliminary purpose of updating the world on any pregnancy developments, but after the baby is born, you could use the page to write cute things on mommy and daddy's walls, as if you were the baby! Wow, how clever. As the kid grows up, the parents can encourage their toddler to make "real friends" by Facebooking their playground acquaintances. This will ensure a seemless transition into the world of awkwardly friending random parents, posting incriminating pictures from an applejuice rager after nap time, and having a discussion with little Kimmy on whether they're ready to make their "holding hands" relationship "Facebook official." The future is looking bright for the next generation.

In case you were wondering...

When I mentioned eBay's new ad campaign yesterday, it struck me that not everyone is familiar with the comedic stylings of the wonderful (if creepily pale) Jim Gaffigan. Here's some background: The dude's from a large Indiana family, somehow got out of the state and in 1988 graduated from Georgetown's business school.

Since then he's gone on to pursue a successful acting career, having played parts in everything from cult arthouse picks like 2002's Igby Goes Down and last year's Away We Go, to TV appearances as far and wide as Law & Order, That 70's Show, and Sex and the City. That said, he's probably more well known for his Comedy Central specials and frequenting late night talk shows with his decidedly hilarious material. It's great, relatively PG-13 comedy (the raunch factor is low-- gluttony and sloth are by far Gaffigan's most frequented topics), punctuated by hysterical, high-pitched asides.


If you enjoyed that, odds are you'll enjoy most of his material. You can either go on a YouTube adventure and watch  more of his stand up, order his newly released album "King Baby" on iTunes,  or, you know, get tickets to see him live sometime soon. Check out JimGaffigan.com

Quick Note: Dom's back

Hi guys--
I do want to apologize for my absences this past fortnight. I've been super busy the last two weeks-- among other things, I moved out of my childhood home in Baltimore and into my fabulous Denver townhouse, started a new job in visual sales, and was indisposed over Thanksgiving because my family is demanding, to say the least. These things are for the moment behind me though, and I'm back in full force starting with this holiday season. Thanks for understanding and thanks again to Nick (and Abbie once or twice) for holding down the fort while I've been otherwise occupied.

xx Dom.