Hippos

When you think about hippos you think fat, slow, and dumb. Well, I am not entirely interested in discussing hippos or the best thing about them (how they shit), but what I do wanna talk about is hypocrites.

I think its hilarious watching all these conservatives, right wingers, republicans, libertarians, hicks, whatever you want to call them, screaming and ranting about the deficit and spending in congress. This is their biggest issue, controlling spending. Stimulus package!! NOO! Health Care, "Well, I oppose it because I'm worried about the deficit." The government needs to get spending under control. What i say to this, "are you fucking crazy?" George Bush, who most of these psychos supported, put our country in more debt than ever. And what did he spend the money on? Halliburton and various other companies that his administration had interests in. They were paid to fight a war that should have been fought by the Military. Tax payer dollars were given to these private corporations and we outsourced our pride and dignity so that some CEO's could make a ton of money and we could kill a bunch of Iraqi civilians.

With the money that we spend in Iraq or on Halliburton we could have given the entire country Health Care and a College education for the next 100 years. Instead we paid a bunch of rich white dudes to kill a bunch of Muslims. So yes, I'm pissed. This entire bullshit war was one big stimulus package to the largest corporations in the country. There was no reason to do this, other than to take tax payer money and spend it so ugly white dudes could pay for high paid hookers and jerk off on 100 dollar bills.

The most ridiculous part about this whole morally depraved clusterfuck is that it was politically backed by the poorest most rural members of our society who believed in their heart that their country was protecting freedom and the country. These are the same people who adamantly oppose that the government provide health care that they can afford.

EXCESSIVE GOVERNMENT SPENDING ON US, NO!!! EXCESSIVE GOVERNMENT SPENDING ON RICH WHITE DUDES, YES!!!

Is this really what this country is about? How have the conservatives framed this debate so that it makes sense to spend tax payer money on paying private countries to destroy and rebuild a country and potentially reap the benefits financially and vacation in the Virgin Islands-- but providing cash so that normal Americans can have access to health care is a waste of money? I'm confused. If anyone can explain this paradox to me. Please. Because I simply don't understand.

S to the Wizzle, F to the Lizzle

The Department of Health and Human Services recently held a video contest that invited contestants to create a creative 15-30 P.S.A. about prevention for the H1N1 strain of influenza (Swine Flu).

The recently declared winner is Dr. John D. Clarke, M.D., FAAFP, Medical Director of the Long Island Railroad. He won by spitting a pretty fierce rap about effective prevention techniques for the ultra-contagious strain-- you can see the winning PSA above. If you check out Dr. Clarke's YouTube page, you'll see a couple videos of him freestyling about Swine Flu-- and honestly, dude's got flow. Forreal. Keep poking around YouTube and you'll find other performances where he covers diseases that range from Asthma to Diabetes.

Is a Jay-Z and Dr. C collaboration in the works? Um, probably-- like they said in a New York Times blurb:

"...if you ask us, anyone who can rhyme "hand sanitizer" with "I advise ya" should win a Grammy."

Stay tuned for more swine flu updates over the next few days-- Dr. Trish Perl* has some interesting stuff abrewing.

* For those of you who don't know me, Dr. Trish Perl is both very busy and important and... well... my mom. God, I'm lame.

I love health care, Yes, I do, I love health care, how bout YOU

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

In case you missed it... Obama's big health care speech. I haven't formed an opinion yet but I'm curious as to yours.

*Note: Michelle Obama's hair/makeup/arms = correct.

** Note: Joe Wilson yelling "you lie" was, in a word, um, inappropriate.

Tell me this doesn't creep you out

CNN Health has posted an article about a Los Angeles sperm bank that catagorizes its donors by celebrity resemblance. No joke.

The lab is called California Cryobank and its Donor Look-a-Likes program allows future mommies to search their database based on the celebrity whom they'd like their chosen donor to resemble. Want your baby to look like Robert Downey Jr.? Here ya go. Search for David Beckham and you get the following donor profile:

"Heads turn when this green-eyed, blonde-haired, 6' tall dreamboat jogs by or swings a tennis racket. He complements his wide-ranging artistic talents, natural math skills, and athletic abilities with an outgoing personality and a good sense of humor. His life plans embrace world travel, a big family, and a talent-based career which will never feel like work. He's a natural leader with deep respect for foreign cultures."

You can even request that your donor look like Bill Gates. So that even though your baby won't necessarily be rich-- he or she will sure look rich? God, that is just weird. I don't know about you, but to me it sounds an awful lot like genetically engineering your children. Creepy, right?